"HA" - used in its sinhala meaning for the above phrase, means "OK" in English. So the title would actually mean "ok,bye"... My usual phrase to say goodbye to a person with a smile usually when they bid farewell to me with a "I'll be going"... But, a couple of days ago, I used this same phrase to bid farewell to a Buddhist Monk!! What blasphemy!!
For those who don't know (but I am sure most of you do know) you never say "HA" to a buddhist monk. It is always the more reverent word, "EHEI".... Never "HA"... AND you never ever ever .... ever ... say "BYE"!! Bye: No no word! What would have being proper is "EHEI HAMUDURUWANE"... with HAMUDURUWANE being the sinhala term for a buddhist monk!! Oh gosh, what did I do? I think I need to tell the whole story how this came to be!
Ok, let me start from the very beginning...
20 years ago - (I would have probably being about 6 or 7 years old)
I was scared of monks... I was scared of my mother... good god, I was even scared of Lord Buddha!.. I was practically scared of anything that shouted or scolded! My mother used to scold me all the time (she had a point, I admit), and I used to see the buddhist monks in the temple shouting at children (they had a point, exactly my mother's point)... And you were taught that there are many reasons why you will always end up in hell... Buddha was someone who administered all this... Sending the bad kids to hell and giving the good ones what they wished for (Maybe they didnt actually teach me this, because of my scary cat nature, this is what I learnt)... So this is what I did:
1) Learn all the "not" to do's
2) Try and not do them
3) Pray and pray every morning at school for things I wanted (passing an exam) and forgiveness for my mistakes (lying to my mother about how I got wet)
So the outcome was I rarely went near monks and never ever learned the etiquette of treating them, because I was so scared that they will shout at me for doing something the wrong way!
10 years ago
Until this point in my life, I lived like Rapunzel... Well not exactly like Rapunzel (no hair, no beauty nor a prince), but you know what I mean... No idea what-so-ever about real people and real life, had a whole bunch of ideas and ideals, and notions about my infinite capability to tackle any given problem thus making me the grand master of life! That was until I stumbled upon this girl who was basically mean to me in school and pulled up all sorts of lies and schemes to discredit me! Circumstances had it that I pretty much had to handle it on my own and pretty soon I began to realize how true Buddha's lessons are (the lessons I've heard all through my life)...
Thus started my emergence from the Dark Ages... I was definitely not an enlightened soul, but I wanted to be on that path... And I began to see that Buddha was no one to be feared, and he was not the giver of gifts... He was the most compassionate one and you always get for what you give! He was not a god, but a human being, who realized the ultimate truth, gave his gift to his followers and vanished forever from this earth leaving only his teachings behind! I had the utmost respect for Buddhism and Buddha and I wanted to know more and more about its philosophy!
Yet, I was still scared of the monks... They can still shout at you...
03 days ago
At an Alms Giving at my brother-in-law's house, I was keeping away from all that was happening... I listened to the preachings of the head monk (which was really good) and I was watching how everyone served the monks food and I listened what was being said... That was all I did... That was all I expected to do... Then the monks stood up to leave... The most venerable head monk bid my brother-in-law's father good bye and he looked at me!!!
He actually looked at me!! Me!! Me, who never went near him!! Me, the insignificant one, lurking in the shadows!! Me!! and HE SMILED most pleasingly!! ME!!! and he said:
I couldn't believe it... he smiled just like a friend... I didn't expect it for the whole world... And he said what a friend would say, and out came my words:
Oh, those terrible, terrible words...!! I don't think he heard the "bye", it wouldn't have reached him.. but I know!! The words play slow motion in my head several times a day still...
One of my friends, Viraji, said that he will probably use this in one of his prechings next - to show how grown up women dont know proper etiquette, but it was my friend Kamalamala's husband, Nuwan, who gave the best remark:
"Ineshka's mind works perfectly... But there is a small hitch... There are common words that we use that we keep in the table in our minds for fast access... For the special words it takes a while and you have to search for it... That searching never works on her"
Hats off Nuwan, so rightly said!!
For those who don't know (but I am sure most of you do know) you never say "HA" to a buddhist monk. It is always the more reverent word, "EHEI".... Never "HA"... AND you never ever ever .... ever ... say "BYE"!! Bye: No no word! What would have being proper is "EHEI HAMUDURUWANE"... with HAMUDURUWANE being the sinhala term for a buddhist monk!! Oh gosh, what did I do? I think I need to tell the whole story how this came to be!
Ok, let me start from the very beginning...
20 years ago - (I would have probably being about 6 or 7 years old)
I was scared of monks... I was scared of my mother... good god, I was even scared of Lord Buddha!.. I was practically scared of anything that shouted or scolded! My mother used to scold me all the time (she had a point, I admit), and I used to see the buddhist monks in the temple shouting at children (they had a point, exactly my mother's point)... And you were taught that there are many reasons why you will always end up in hell... Buddha was someone who administered all this... Sending the bad kids to hell and giving the good ones what they wished for (Maybe they didnt actually teach me this, because of my scary cat nature, this is what I learnt)... So this is what I did:
1) Learn all the "not" to do's
2) Try and not do them
3) Pray and pray every morning at school for things I wanted (passing an exam) and forgiveness for my mistakes (lying to my mother about how I got wet)
So the outcome was I rarely went near monks and never ever learned the etiquette of treating them, because I was so scared that they will shout at me for doing something the wrong way!
10 years ago
Until this point in my life, I lived like Rapunzel... Well not exactly like Rapunzel (no hair, no beauty nor a prince), but you know what I mean... No idea what-so-ever about real people and real life, had a whole bunch of ideas and ideals, and notions about my infinite capability to tackle any given problem thus making me the grand master of life! That was until I stumbled upon this girl who was basically mean to me in school and pulled up all sorts of lies and schemes to discredit me! Circumstances had it that I pretty much had to handle it on my own and pretty soon I began to realize how true Buddha's lessons are (the lessons I've heard all through my life)...
Thus started my emergence from the Dark Ages... I was definitely not an enlightened soul, but I wanted to be on that path... And I began to see that Buddha was no one to be feared, and he was not the giver of gifts... He was the most compassionate one and you always get for what you give! He was not a god, but a human being, who realized the ultimate truth, gave his gift to his followers and vanished forever from this earth leaving only his teachings behind! I had the utmost respect for Buddhism and Buddha and I wanted to know more and more about its philosophy!
Yet, I was still scared of the monks... They can still shout at you...
03 days ago
At an Alms Giving at my brother-in-law's house, I was keeping away from all that was happening... I listened to the preachings of the head monk (which was really good) and I was watching how everyone served the monks food and I listened what was being said... That was all I did... That was all I expected to do... Then the monks stood up to leave... The most venerable head monk bid my brother-in-law's father good bye and he looked at me!!!
He actually looked at me!! Me!! Me, who never went near him!! Me, the insignificant one, lurking in the shadows!! Me!! and HE SMILED most pleasingly!! ME!!! and he said:
"Api gihin ennam" - (a very friendly way of saying "We will be going")
I couldn't believe it... he smiled just like a friend... I didn't expect it for the whole world... And he said what a friend would say, and out came my words:
"HA, BYE"
Oh, those terrible, terrible words...!! I don't think he heard the "bye", it wouldn't have reached him.. but I know!! The words play slow motion in my head several times a day still...
One of my friends, Viraji, said that he will probably use this in one of his prechings next - to show how grown up women dont know proper etiquette, but it was my friend Kamalamala's husband, Nuwan, who gave the best remark:
"Ineshka's mind works perfectly... But there is a small hitch... There are common words that we use that we keep in the table in our minds for fast access... For the special words it takes a while and you have to search for it... That searching never works on her"
Hats off Nuwan, so rightly said!!
1 comments:
Never ever change, for what comes from the heart is the most beautiful ;)
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